wow, i hadn't notice that its been one then a month since i last post. I guess people are already sick of coming back to check out this dead blog. Really nothing much to talk about it my boring little life.
Its good rotting at home you know, like sleep and wake up, sleep and wake up. No need to care about anything or anyone. Its just me. I can do what i feel like doing at that instance and whatever i feel like doing.
But i cant help thinking, what if my life is like that forever (though technically not possible). It would be F-ing boring. Maybe 2-3 months of slacking would be good for a change in my life, but definitely not the rest of my screwed up life. I rather feel screwed up.
I hope my life would get better, after i become more mature, after i grow up. Well, im 18 already, but have i grown out of my self destructing personality. I dont think so, ok well, at the least i dont really know. I keep thinking and thinking. Is life= grow...work...live...die? Is it? I dont really get it. Whats life, why are we living? It is because we live for the sake of living, to just reproduce and die off from the face of this world just like the scientific theory? What is it? To carry out the so called "mission" or are we here because of a higher being? What is it we are living for?
Its not because of this long holiday that i think of such stuff and im not in depression or anything like that. It's just that when i spend time doing nothing i will think of such things. Maybe i should drown myself in work and nothing else. To get over with this life. If there's a heaven, i wish i was there. If there someone who could enlighten me of my stupid, self destructing thoughts (not the suicidal type), i wish that person is here right now.
Everytime i want to do something i would procrastinate, everytime i think of my life it would be something bad. Is there nothing good in my life some would ask. Of course there is, but i tend to forgot them when the bad ones flood me. I cant even think of one right now. It shows how am i feeling right now.
Decided to stop the writing of what some of you like to call the human study. Btw, that term is fucked up. Its so fucking lame. No offence though. Im thinking, who am i to judge you. Who the fuck am i to even write anything about anyone. Do i even know you? Btw, do you even know who i am? No, i can say, no one had ever really known who i am, what kind of person i am. Kind of sad huh. But i can say, it this world, if anyone really really know you. Well then, you're fucking in luck. Im talking about really knowing you. Be true to yourself and think for just a minute. Hm...your answer? Haha. I dont need to know the answer, nor do i wish to hear it.
But one things for sure, i want to thank all my friends.
Its good rotting at home you know, like sleep and wake up, sleep and wake up. No need to care about anything or anyone. Its just me. I can do what i feel like doing at that instance and whatever i feel like doing.
But i cant help thinking, what if my life is like that forever (though technically not possible). It would be F-ing boring. Maybe 2-3 months of slacking would be good for a change in my life, but definitely not the rest of my screwed up life. I rather feel screwed up.
I hope my life would get better, after i become more mature, after i grow up. Well, im 18 already, but have i grown out of my self destructing personality. I dont think so, ok well, at the least i dont really know. I keep thinking and thinking. Is life= grow...work...live...die? Is it? I dont really get it. Whats life, why are we living? It is because we live for the sake of living, to just reproduce and die off from the face of this world just like the scientific theory? What is it? To carry out the so called "mission" or are we here because of a higher being? What is it we are living for?
Its not because of this long holiday that i think of such stuff and im not in depression or anything like that. It's just that when i spend time doing nothing i will think of such things. Maybe i should drown myself in work and nothing else. To get over with this life. If there's a heaven, i wish i was there. If there someone who could enlighten me of my stupid, self destructing thoughts (not the suicidal type), i wish that person is here right now.
Everytime i want to do something i would procrastinate, everytime i think of my life it would be something bad. Is there nothing good in my life some would ask. Of course there is, but i tend to forgot them when the bad ones flood me. I cant even think of one right now. It shows how am i feeling right now.
Decided to stop the writing of what some of you like to call the human study. Btw, that term is fucked up. Its so fucking lame. No offence though. Im thinking, who am i to judge you. Who the fuck am i to even write anything about anyone. Do i even know you? Btw, do you even know who i am? No, i can say, no one had ever really known who i am, what kind of person i am. Kind of sad huh. But i can say, it this world, if anyone really really know you. Well then, you're fucking in luck. Im talking about really knowing you. Be true to yourself and think for just a minute. Hm...your answer? Haha. I dont need to know the answer, nor do i wish to hear it.
But one things for sure, i want to thank all my friends.
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing